What happens when you say to yourself, “I’m so fucking finished” and you know that actually, you can’t quit. Actually, you aren’t finished… you are in it until the end… so what are you going to do to make it work???????
Oh my Jesus… Where does radical self-care start?
Baby steps! That’s where it starts…
Yesterday at the CVS I had the wherewithal to buy an O Magazine. I love Oprah. I’ve been following her since the 80s when she was in Chicago (I’m sure there are thousands of people like me, that had the follow up question on the tip of their tongue and there! She asked it! OMG, she’s brilliant! ) Any way, in my suffering yesterday, I knew that purchasing an O Magazine along with my dye free Tylenol and dye free Motrin would bring me joy.
By the way, as a crazy aside, six months ago I had this vision of me and Oprah sitting on a sofa talking about how helpful my book is to multitudes of humans. In this vision I was 10 pounds thinner and had an amazingly tight jaw line – nothing like my reality under my chin. So my inner critic should shut up and sit down, but the truth is out!
Back to the story: I forgot the stool softener!
How could I? The stool softener is imperative to go with the Norco. You cannot take a pain killer with Codeine without a stool softener. The constipation alone could bring you back to the ER; and do not go to the ER unless you are ready to die.
I didn’t realize I had forgotten the stool softener until later, after a cup of tea and O Magazine had helped to screw my feet back into the ground. By this time we had some Thai food delivered, watched Westworld (a mind fuck if you ask me), and then I was like, “Oh No! I can’t give you any more pain meds honey without a stool softener! The worst thing in the world would be to add constipation to your pelvic issues!”
Off I drove to Vons Supermarket, the home of stool softeners late at night.
While I was at Vons, I was on my cell phone with a friend who really knows me, and has walked through fire with one of her own kids. Luckily, she’s in a good phase with this kid, but we both acknowledged how fragile that is, and how celebrating those victories is so essential. Any-who… I realized that I needed to hit my Mindful Methods joy list hard.
I bought a gorgeous bunch of roses. They are blush with a rose colored hue half way up the petals to the rim. I also bought a bunch of filler. And I bought another magazine – this time one from Home and Garden that is all recipes.
After administering the pain meds and stool softener to my daughter, I created a beautiful flower arrangement for the center of the kitchen table. Then I tried to settle down to sleep and realized that the self-care cup of tea that I drank around 7 pm while perusing my O Magazine must have had caffeine. Ugh.
After a horrendous day in the ER with a kid who had considerable pain – but worse than that, had on shit colored glasses – all I wanted was to drift off to sleep, out of this day and into another day. Hopefully a less horrible day.
Another Mindful Method tool came out of my proverbial toolbox as I put in my ear buds and pushed play on a guided meditation for sleep on Insight Timer. That did the trick; it overpowered the caffeine and allowed me to release the day.
The following day proved to better – or at least less bad.
The tools I worked for happiness were:
I exercised for 20 minutes of cardio and stretched.
I spent time out in the sunshine at home on the balcony.
I went to the beach to watch the sunset.
I met friends for a late dinner.
I enjoyed looking at the flower arrangement I had made the night before. That will give me joy for days!
May you be safe, happy, healthy, and live with ease!