My mom passed away 6 months ago yesterday, February 29, 2016. Sometimes the pain is excruciating. My heart is crushed and bleeding and I have terrible pressure in my head and my neck. It happened last night, while I was with one of my 21 year old twin daughters.
So, with tears running down my face I said, “Okay, this is grief. This is sorrow. This sucks. Okay, I named it. Okay, I’m breathing.”
Then I put my hand on my heart (soothing touch to tap into my mammalian caregiver response and get some oxytocin going) and said out loud for the benefit of Cara (my daughter), “What do I need to hear right now?”
Then I said, “I’m alright. I’m going to be alright. This is a process that takes time. My dad is going to be okay. These feelings will change because no feelings stay the same. This hurts.”
Then I said, “l am going to pick a positive mental state. What should I pick?”
Then I looked at Cara and said, “I’ll pick you! Sitting in front of me, holding my hand, looking loving and kind and beautiful.”
Then I breathed her in.
Then I wiped my face of tears and said, “Okay, that is the practice!”
